Archive for the ‘video’ Category


they’re gonna eat me alive

January 13, 2010

help, i’m alive
my heart keeps beating like a hammer
hard to be soft, tough to be tender

After yet another argument heated discussion with my family, I realised it was time to continue with this blog.  My sister had a great point when she accused me of not taking any action regarding the things I’m passionate about, so hopefully resurrecting this dusty old thing will shut her up (and I mean that in the nicest possible way!).

Rebirth necessitates change, hence the new blog title.  Yes, I’ve already changed it three times.  No, I don’t care.  For the record, this will be the last time, because I think I’ve finally found a title (and song) that perfectly sums up not only myself, but also the (intended) content of this blog.  ‘Nuff said?  Good.

single cover

The title, of course, comes from the Metric song of the same name.  It’s the debut single from the album Fantasies, which was probably my favourite album of 2009.  There’s no denying it’s a little more “mainstream”/”radio-friendly” than their previous efforts (probably intentionally so), but the songs are well-constructed and Emily Haines‘ vocals are gorgeous, so it still works well as both a great Metric album as well as an awesome indie/pop/rock album in its own right.

“Help I’m Alive” is a brilliant album-opener, and it also exists in an acoustic version that gives a whole new perspective to the song.  The situation is reminiscent of Emily Haines‘ reworking of an early Metric song, “Dr. Blind”, for her solo album Knives Don’t Have Your Back – what began as something poppy and upbeat became dark and brooding.  It’s an interesting experiment, and if Emily chose to do an entire album of acoustic Metric songs, it would undoubtedly be a completely different listening experience compared to the original work (hint, hint, Ms. Haines).


posthuman and hardwired

August 18, 2007

or “is God a gamer?”

i read an interesting article the other day that suggested we live in a “computer simulation” – that our version of reality is nothing more than a constructed world akin to that seen in the Matrix movies or a Will Wright game.  earlier this evening, i mentioned it to my other half, zero, and we got into a rather heated discussion about the idea on the way to the supermarket (and in the supermarket… and on the way back home… and then for a while at home…).  it was only heated because i can be pretty stubborn when defending an idea – while i don’t necessarily believe we do live inside a computer simulation, i definitely believe it is a possibility.  after all, our universe is so elegant, so mathematically precise, that it’s impossible not to draw comparisons with a computer program.

outside the matrix

the basic idea behind the theory is that if we assume that posthuman civilisations achieve the potential to create “realistic” simulations, perhaps based on their human ancestors, and a great many number of these simulations is created, then logic and probability suggests that our reality could be one of those “virtual” ones.

i think the whole idea upset zero a little, and he kept asking questions like, “if that’s true, then what’s the point of living?”  which is actually a valid question.  if mankind were to discover that life was nothing more than a complex simulation and we are merely “intelligent” Sims, what would that mean for us?  sure, it might answer some of the questions that have been plaguing us for centuries (“why are we here?” “is there a god?”) but it’s unlikely these answers would be the ones we wanted to hear.

i personally see no real distinction between a world that was created as a computer simulation by posthumans, one that was constructed meticulously by God, or one that was brewed in a laboratory by an advanced alien race (apart from the obvious differences, of course).  in all of these cases, the world is merely a stage and we are the actors with no tangible connection to the director.  hell, we don’t even know if there is a director, or if we’re just running around blindly trying to figure out our next line and the meaning of that last pivotal plot point.  and would knowing which of these possibilities was the actual reality drastically alter the way we live our lives?

a reader of the Sentient Development blog commented that “we’ve now entered the realm of an untestable hypothesis.  any and everything could be ‘explained’ with this theory”.  both parts of his statement are true – it is kinda pointless debating something that can probably never be proven (by us, anyway), but i think it’s the latter part of his comment that appeals to so many people – it does appear to explain everything in our universe quite neatly.  (why are our laws of physics so? – because they were programmed that way, etc).  it removes the difficulty of actually having to explain everything.  of course, this argument is really no different from “because God made it so”, but as i said, it really makes no difference who our god is; posthuman, alien or otherwise.

so do we live in a computer simulation?  maybe.  does it matter?  probably not, although there are some implications we should consider.  if we do live in a simulation, it probably means that the human race evolved at some point to a stage where it was technologically advanced enough to create a computer simulation realistic and complex enough to fool its inhabitants.  that’s gotta be a good thing, right?  but if we don’t live in a simulation, then the opposite is probably true – that humans will never evolve to a posthuman stage.  or maybe we did/will evolve, but posthumans had/will have no desire to create simulations.  which would also be a good thing for us, ’cause it implies that our reality is probably… uh… “real”.

i doubt that we will ever know for sure whether or not we exist in a computer simulation, and, like zero, i secretly hope that we don’t.  while it might be nice to suppose that George W. Bush is just the god-gamer’s sick idea of a joke, the idea that humankind might be destroyed (or destroy itself) before it could evolve scares the shit out of me – but not as much as the idea that our thoughts and emotions are somehow…  synthetic.

update:  Keith Olbermann discussed this theory on Countdown the other night.  watch the video on YouTube here, or download a .mov version below.


dead eyes; are you just like me?

April 22, 2007

it seems like everyone is talking about the Virginia Tech massacre right now, and rightfully so – thirty-two people lost their lives when a disturbed young man, Seung-Hui Cho, went on a killing spree a few days ago.  it’s definitely important to discuss this tragedy, and to try to find some sort of sense in it.  at least, that’s what i’m sure many of the people personally involved in this tragedy are trying to discover – what was the reason behind Cho’s actions?  what motivated him to kill someone’s child, someone’s sibling, someone’s friend?  and all around the world, people are trying to determine the same thing.  what could possibly drive someone to commit such a horrendous act against his fellow man?

(c) Seung-Hui Cho & NBC

it was a tragic incident, and needs to be discussed.  so was it wrong of American broadcasting network NBC to air and distribute portions of Cho’s multimedia suicide note?  many seem to think so.  the parents of one of the victims even went as far as cancelling their appearance on NBC’s TODAY Show.  but as far as i’m concerned (and my husband Dylan backs me up on this one), pissing off a bunch of viewers and offending the victim’s parents is a small price to pay to allow us, the disattached masses, a glimpse into the mind of a killer.  i’m sure my remarks sound callous, but let’s be realistic – for a start, what could the parents of one of the victims say that we, the viewers, don’t already know?  we know the families and friends of the victims are grieving – we grieve with them.  we know that losing a loved one is one of the most painful events anyone could possibly experience.  there is nothing that these people personally affected by the tragedy could say that a compassionate public doesn’t already understand.  what we don’t understand, however, is what the killer was going through at the time, and how he could commit such a brutal act.  we can’t comprehend how one man could take thirty-two innocent lives.  and quite often in these situations, we will never know. 

however, this killer left us a clue in the form of the multimedia “manifesto” that he compiled and sent to NBC on the morning of the massacre, after he had already killed two people and was about to kill a whole lot more.  this “manifesto”, and Cho’s sketchy past, are the only real clues we have to what was going on in his mind at the time, and it is not until we take all this information into consideration can we formulate any sort of theory about why he did it, and what we, the compassionate public, can do to prevent this sort of thing happening again.

unfortunately, one of the first articles i read about the incident immediately delved into the conspiratorial aspects of the tragedy, and suggested that instead of blaming lax firearms laws, we should blame violent video games and antidepressants.  i remember the good old days when television was blamed as the root of all evil, but now, instead of taking into account the thousands of people being killed in George W. Bush’s illegal war, or the graphic violence shown in our movie theatres, we point the finger at…  video games?  yes, Cho was disturbed, but was this really due to a combination of first-person shooters and prozac?  video games don’t kill people – guns kill people.  and why was he taking antidepressants in the first place?  was it due to the bullying he recieved at school?  was his intense anger caused not by videogames but by everyday people in everyday society? 

don’t get me wrong – i’m not trying to blame the victims, nor am i defending the killer.  all i’m saying is that the answers aren’t always so easy to find.

i’ll be the first person to admit that i’m a loner.  i was bullied a bit at school.  i take prozac for my depression (ie, stress) and social anxiety.  and guess what – i also play violent video games.  fortunately, this combination of factors hasn’t turned me into a gun-toting maniac, and to be honest, i’m not afraid it ever will.  i’m also reasonably confident that even having possession of a gun wouldn’t be enough to sway me to kill someone.  but let’s face it – the likelihood of these people dying would have been greatly decreased had Cho’s access to guns not been quite so easy.  apparently, one of his guns was purchased from a pawnshop, and the other was ordered online.  it’s the ease with which he purchased these weapons that causes me the most amount of concern.  but naturally, Americans want to protect their second amendement right to bear arms, so the fact that a 23-year-old college student had two guns is not as important as what he did in his spare time.  after all, if another student present during the shooting had had a gun of their own, there is a possibility that they could have prevented (some of) the killings by shooting Cho themselves.  someone needs to remind people sharing this point of view that two wrongs do not make a right.  conversely, Cho’s troubled past does not justify his actions either.  all i am trying to say is that there are two sides to every story, even if one (or both) of the sides is “wrong”, and it’s important that we, the public, is able to see all sides, if not just for the basic human right of being allowed to make up one’s own mind.

so was NBC wrong for making Cho’s final words available to the public?  in my humble opinion, no.  sure, i found many of his personal photographs chilling, and probably just watched the clips to satisy a morbid curiosity to see what all the fuss was about.  but i saved the clips i watched, and have filed them in a multimedia folder on my hard drive next to “911 truth” clips and the Daniel Pearl execution.  does viewing – and saving – these clips make me a sick bastard?  i’m sure my family, partner and kitty cat will attest to the fact that i am not evil or mentally disturbed.  so why did i keep them?  because they’re real.  because these types of events happen all too frequently, and we, as a society, need to learn from them to stop history reapeating itself. 

recently, my father sent me a link to a clip compiling 60 sniper shots by Iraqi insurgents against the US military, and for a moment, i was a little taken aback.  why was my father, one of the most gentle and compassionate people i know, forwarding clips showing American soldiers being murdered?  but the answer’s really quite simple – because it happened.  these things happen every day, but we’re lucky if it’s featured in the crawl along the bottom of the screen during a news programme.  we’re told about these soldiers being killed, but without seeing it for ourselves, the reality of the horror is often completely missed by the audience.  the deaths become a statistic, merely faceless numbers.  sometimes we need to be reminded that these are real people committing these horrific acts, and that these are real people that are dying.

Light & Ryuk - Death Note

i’m sure some people (ie, manga fans) will be horrified by my making this connection, but i can’t help thinking about this whole Cho/”manifesto” business while i’m watching the anime Death Note.  the main protagonist in the story is Light Yagami, otherwise known as Kira, who has the power to kill using a supernatural notebook dropped by a Death God.  by simply picturing his victim’s face while writing their name in the Death Note, Light takes it upon himself to rid the world of evil by killing all the criminals.  he hopes that when society realises evil deeds will lead to certain death, a form of utopia will be created – a utopia where he is the “ruler god”, where he is justice.  all the while, he is being pursued by the world’s most brilliant criminal investigator known as only as L.  i’m usually not a huge fan of manga, but i find this series both engrossing and incredibly thought-provoking.  the line between right and wrong is often blurred, and it’s difficult not to sympathise with Light.  although we know that two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right, and technically we know that Light’s actions are morally (and socially) objectionable, we can’t help thinking that if we were in a similar situation with the same sort of power, perhaps we would do the same thing – for the “good” of all mankind.  and this has been happening throughout history for as far back as we can remember – the religious crusades, ethnic cleansing and even the actions of people such as Seung-Hui Cho were all committed because someone thought the world would be “better off” without certain types of people.  the compassionate human knows these ideas are not right – are not good – but usually we don’t really know how or why someone else would think otherwise.  that’s the beauty of Death Note – it lets us into the mind of the highly intelligent and charismatic Light, helping us to understand that sometimes good intentions are, in fact, morally reprehensible, even though they may seem perfectly sane and reasonable.

English-subtitled episodes of Death Note are available in a number of places online.  You can get them through BitTorrent, or download them from couple of websites.  my preferred choice is Death Fan, which has all the episodes available through MegaUpload, but Death Note TV also has most of the episodes, including some you can watch online.


it’s all grey to me

April 20, 2007

i was looking around the ‘net for Fortean videos – y’know; UFOs, unexplained phenomena, alternative histories, that sort of thing – when i stumbled across the Grey Lodge.  it doesn’t take a genius (or a Twin Peaks fan) to realise that this place deals with things that can’t be categorized in simple terms of black or white, but come from that fuzzy place in between.  it is divided into two sections – the Grey Lodge Occult Review, and GPod (which is essentially a blog version of the infrequently updated magazine-style Occult Review). 

as the name suggests, the Grey Lodge reviews (and shares) various types of media for those of us with more… eccentric tastes.  they have pretty much everything – documentaries, art films, audio books, podcasts – even the Daily Show.  they don’t host all of the files themselves, so a basic knowledge of using BitTorrent is needed to get some of the best stuff (I had been looking for a copy of Matthew Barney’s Drawing Restraint 9 for months).  the Occult Review side has just been updated for the first time in about two years, but all the original content is still there, so don’t forget to have a browse once you’re done with GPod.  (which will take a while, if you’re anything like me – and my download queue has never been fuller!)

if YouTube and Google Video are more your thing, check out Anomaly Television, which posts numerous videos each day under a variety of themes (such as UFO Monday and Cryptozoology Wednesday).  don’t forget that you can use a website such as KeepVid to download these videos to watch at your leisure.


the crowd that wants to see me dead

February 2, 2007

Death of a Presidentzero and i watched Death of a President the other night, a documentary-style film set in late 2007, detailing the assassination of one George W. Bush.  surprisingly well-handled, the film manages not to take sides on the issue of whether Bush and his policies are right or wrong, but instead focusses on the politics of the aftermath.  the build-up to the assassination itself is somewhat tedious (especially having to listen to Bush’s “staff” wax on about what an intelligent and moral man he is/was) but would be a logical place to start has this been an actual documentary about his death.  however, the filmmakers have kept in mind that this is supposed to fiction – and therefore, entertainment – and spend much of the first part of the film building suspense by teasing us with the idea that Bush could be assassinated any second now…  however, it is not ’til after the shooting that the film really starts to pick up, as we see how the US government tries to deal with the assassination.  priority number one: catch a suspect.  priority number two:  connect him to al Qaeda.  evidence?  make it fit the suspect.  a confession?  sweep it under the rug.

it is a clever film, and the message it sends is not that the President must die, but tries to imagine what would happen if he was assassinated – and it’s a bleak prediction.  the world is not necessarily a better place with Bush dead – Cheney has stepped up as President, the Patriot Act is expanded and people lose more of the freedom they are fighting so hard to protect, and at one stage, it seems another war is imminent.

the film was made by Film Four Productions in the UK, and was screened there on local tv after premiering at the Toronto Film Festival in 2006 where it won the International Critics Prize.  due to the controversial nature of the film, it suffered distribution problems in some areas (especially the United States), but is now available on dvd.  if you can’t find a copy anywhere, below is a link to a BitTorrent file.  if you’ve never downloaded a torrent file before, click here for some basic instructions.